Aren’t haunted attractions supposed to be scary?

In Lancaster, PA I went to one of those scary, haunted walk through things with two of my friends and I must say that I experienced a large lack of fear. I went to one called Jason’s Woods because it looks pretty good according to the website, and maybe it was. I get scared really easily and I expected to have the wits scared out of me but was pretty disappointed when that didn’t happen. I’ll list what I did with the $25 Three Show Combo.

First everyone went to The Grand New Jason’s Woods Theater  where we listened to a woman speak for a short amount of time then watched a video with a preview of what we would see. The video is compiled of the videos under the Photo/Video Gallery section at jasonswoods.com in case anyone reading would like to check it out.

After that we exited the building and went straight to the Haunted Maze, which looked pretty scary by the entrance. Of course once I saw that the woman checking our ticket was a little old lady, I melted. I can’t help myself around sweet old people, I always find myself minding my manners and telling my friends around me to do the same. She was super nice and had on a witch’s hat which I found funny because even though this was supposed to be a scary attraction, she didn’t try to scare us. Anyway, I digress. We went through and one of my friends (who I’ll call by my nickname for her instead of her actual name) was in front. Little Hamster (yeah that’s her nickname, don’t ask it’s a long story) was pretty much leading the entire group of 20-30 people because everyone but her was too scared to go first. At one point there were only two ways to go and both were pitch black. I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face. So Little Hamster, Gretchy (my other friends nickname) and I asked if anyone had a flashlight. One man had a bright cellphone but refused to go first. We mentally facepalmed; here was a large man who would survive much better than my group if anything dangerous happened (which obviously wouldn’t) and he was too scared. Finally Little Hamster got impatient and just went, with me grabbing her jacket hood so I wouldn’t get lost and Gretchy doing the same to me. Behind us we hear screams and the sound of Freddy Krueger snipping his scissorhands but we were far from it. Finally, like a bloodhound, Little Hamster gets us out of the maze and much to our surprise, we were first. Mind you, we are small women and the fact that we beat out the multiple strong men that we left behind, made us (and by us I mean Little Hamster) feel pretty good about ourselves. We laughed and said a few celebratory words and went on to the next attraction.

We stopped at the Haunted Hayride. Being born and raised in the concrete jungle I had never been on a hayride before. So I was a little wary but when we sat down, backs against the side and legs stretched out, I immediately liked this better than the maze. There was no chance of me getting lost and for me walking around is scarier because I don’t know where I am going. Add that to the fact that when it comes to fight or flight I am 100% flight, it doesn’t make a good combination. Anyway, we were driven around and it took a long time for the first stop to come, which was just some hillbilly character yelling at us. Then we moved on, drove for a while, stopped, and more characters yelled and ran along the sides shouting and getting in our faces. But the thing is, they weren’t scary, just a bit obnoxious. Also, there was a group of girls who ranged from about 8-10 or so. They were incredibly scared, they rolled around in the hay to get away from the character while everyone else just watched and laughed. Except for two teenagers sitting next to me who, while not as obvious, were a bit scared too as one could see because they sat in the middle, not the side. So the characters aimed for the young girls and teenagers because no one else gave appeared to be scared. If you just laugh and act calm they’ll move on to people who are easier to scare and that’s exactly why my friends and I were overlooked. At the end of the mostly soothing ride (although there was a strobe light room and that was extremely head-ache inducing) we got off and went to the Barn of Terror.

Okay I’m sorry but I am so done with describing everything and the last two attractions, Barn of Terror and Pirate’s Revenge, are so similar that I’ll just simply summarize. You walk around into different rooms, people pop out to yell at you, and you eventually make it out. Now it was pretty dark in both and that led to me running into walls and focusing so much on where I was going that a few times I missed when people popped out, only knowing someone had when I heard Gretchy scream. The Pirate’s Revenge was pretty cool, though, because we were given 3-D glasses, which made the walk through really disorienting. Also in the pirate attraction there was an all black room with neon colored dots everywhere and in it is a man wearing an all black suit with the same dots on them. So he blends in and Little Hamster ran into him, causing her to scream for the first (and last) time that night. So to recap, was I scared? No. Was Jason’s Woods scary? For a lot of people, yes, just not for me. Did I have fun? Most definitely.

P.S. sorry it’s so long, I kind of got carried away. But I was there for a few hours and there was a lot to talk about. I’m sure I’ll be back to my 300-500 word posts in no time 🙂

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